Sunsets

I believe that every evening God becomes a painter and creates beautiful works of art. We have the opportunity to stand back and watch the creation of a masterpiece, if only we would notice. Oh, if only we would notice!

Procrastination

Why is it that as the semester progresses a student's tendency to procrastinate increases? I swear it's a scientific fact, and there's an equation that verifies my theory.

Every student experiences this phenomenon at one time or another, and I am no exception. I have two tests, two conference papers, and an analysis paper due in the next two weeks, but am I finished with any of them? Absolutely not. At least I've started on studying for the tests...

Winter

It's cold. I mean, really cold. Like, I'm-going-to-have-to-start-scraping-my-windows-so-I-can-drive kind of cold. I'm not really ok with it. It's fun to bundle up and look cute in fall clothes (boots, cardigans, turtlenecks...), but when your nose and your pinkies are freezing, it's not so awesome. I was determined to be like 80% of the rest of the world and dislike winter this.

And then it snowed. Beautiful, fat, fluffy flakes...

Dang, Mother Nature's good!

Crunchy Leaves

When your world is cold, and the sky is dark and cloudy, just remember: crunchy leaves will always make your day brighter.

Here's to the Crazies

I used to think that people who talked to themselves were crazy. Now I just assume that they have a bluetooth headphone.

Why is it that boys can tie ties but girls can't?

I wish I was allowed to sleep more.

I think the greatest, most powerful phrase in the human language is "I love you."

"When all else fails, put on a costume and sing a silly song."--Sam Walton

Every girl needs to have the love of her life just grab her and kiss in the middle of a sentence at least once.

We all have weird quirks. Deal with it.

It is almost impossible to look good eating sushi unless you're Asian.

"I dream away my life in others' speculations. I love to lose myself in other men's minds. When I am not walking, I am reading; I cannot sit and think. Books think for me."--Charles Lamb

This has been the week from Hell. Everything that went wrong, did. I kept thinking, "It can only get better, right?" Nope. It didn't.

The only saving grace for this week was the fact that my sister, Chelsey, her husband, Aaron, and all of their kids surprised us with a visit. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to have all of my sisters, and all six of my nieces and nephews so close. Surely this next week will be better then this week. It has to be.

Wait, we have a quarterback who actually knows how to play football?

The Cougars just had a 96 yard drive in the last minute and a half of the game, making the winning touchdown with less than 15 seconds in the game. That was the craziest thing I've ever seen! I'm so glad Bronco pulled that joke of a quarterback, Jake Heaps, and put in someone who actually knows what he's doing. Way to go Riley Nelson!

New Singer (or The Post with the Incessant Parentheticals)

I love finding new music artists to listen to. I've found that some of my favorite music artists are the ones that new one has ever heard of (Priscilla Ahn, A Fine Frenzy, for example), so sometimes it's hard to find new people to listen to. I've also had a little bit of a bad weekend (did anyone else watch that disaster of a football game on Saturday?), so I definitely needed something to pick me up today.

Enter Mindy Gledhill. I was wandering around the BYU Bookstore (aka my own personal library; sometimes I read the books that they have for sell without buying them...), and a CD cover caught my eye. I immediately fell in love with the cover (the image on the video is the album cover. Isn't it adorable?!), but I hesitated because because it was sitting in the basket with the religious music (not that I don't like religious music, it's just not the kind of music that I prefer to listen to on a daily basis). So I decided to do a little research, and luckily I found her music on YouTube. As soon as I heard the first song, I knew that Mindy Gledhill and I were going to become very good friends (well, not literally, but figuratively, through the music).

This is her song "Crazy Love." I love it. It's cute, upbeat, happy, etc...ok, ok. I'll admit, the lyrics are a little bit on the stalker side, but come on. Sometimes stalker songs can be really good (remember "Every Breath You Take" by The Police? Everyone loves that song)! Trust me, you will fall in love too.

Oh, be still, my restless heart!

This video gave me chills

It's a good day today

This is hilarious. If you're ever looking for a smart comic, try XKCD.

Mystery Solved

Those poor, skinny, beautiful, rich models

Sometimes I like to watch shows with drama. I think it's because my life is so devoid of personal drama that I have to get it elsewhere. It's a guilty pleasure. Don't judge me.

My cousin, Rachel, and I were watching the final episode of the Bachelor Pad (as a side note, I never watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette because I think the show is ridiculous), and let me tell you, that show has more drama than 10 ABC Family shows--and that's saying something because ABC Family is very dramatic. Anyways, we needed a break from the drama, so we turned the channel to...the Miss Universe Pageant.

I understand that there is a stereotype around Beauty Queens, and I understand that not all Beauty Queens are brainless models who think of little more than make up, hair, and their next bikini wax. But come on! I just can't help but think that those girls are the most superficial, fake girls ever.

So, we're watching the pageant, and the girls are strutting their stuff during the swimsuit competition (although technically they're not supposed to call it that), and one of the commentators is talking about Miss Australia. She says that Miss Australia is really interested in health, and that the health section is always the first section she reads when she picks up the morning newspaper. Then the commentator says, "I was just so impressed that she actually read the newspaper." That comment just made my night.

Go Cougars!

It's football season again! I love football season; it just makes the weekends that much better. BYU is looking really good this season. We had a rough start at Ole Miss, but we pulled through it. To make two touchdowns in the last ten minutes of the game? Craziness! We came out blazing against Texas this week--a touchdown and a field goal in the first quarter--and even though we lost our heads a little bit during the last half, we still played an excellent game. The biggest game of the season is next week. We need to keep up this hot streak, so we can whoop the Utes when they come to Provo next week.

Go Cougars! We believe in you.

Feedback

Ok everybody, I've finished putting my first story, and now I want to know what you guys think! Do you guys like having stories and poems and stuff up here? Do you guys want to see more stories? I'd love to know what you guys want to see here on the blog.

Fantastic Reality Part 3

It's the last part of the scene!

I waited for Dad to respond, but his mouth just opened and closed as he searched for something to say. In the end he looked helplessly over his shoulder to where my mother stood slowly stirring a tall glass of ice tea. She looked up from her tea, and cocked one eyebrow at Dad. It appeared that they were doing that weird telepathy thing that parents sometimes do, and a heavy silence fell. I clutched at Dad’s hand and forced him to look at me.

“Dad, listen, I’m sorry that you haven’t met James yet. He just feels uncomfortable around…authority figures. But we can fix that! James is waiting for me, and we can go down to the duck pond, and you’ll finally get to met him. He’s so funny, Dad, and I just know that you’re going to love him.” I pulled at his arm, and he rose slowly from his chair. He looked helplessly at Mom again, and motioned toward the back door.

“Come on, Camille. We should at least just go down to the pond and check it out.” She looked at us for a moment before slamming her glass down on the counter. I was surprised the glass didn’t shatter from the force of impact. Iced tea sloshed over the edge of the glass, but for once she ignored it.

“Fine,” she said tersely. “We’ll go down to the pond.” She clicked over to the back door, swung it open, and walked out into the garden without looking back. I scampered after her, towing Dad along behind me. When we finally caught up with her, I babbled about the time James and I had found a robin’s nest in one of the trees, the time I tricked James into thinking that old lady Winters was actually a witch, the time James found a small bush of wild blackberries growing in the woods by our house. As we crested the hill and the pond with its small circle of trees became visible, I raced ahead, calling for James. There was the log that lay half in the water and half in the grass, and there was the crook in the tree where James always sat. There was the birdfeeder that we had made when we were ten, and there was sparkling quartz rock that we had found in Mr. Connors’ back yard and rolled down to the pond.

James didn’t answer because James wasn’t at the pond, waiting for me like he’d promised. My parents had finally come, and James was gone.

Fantastic Reality Part 2

“But James will be waiting for me. He promised that he would help me memorize all the battles in the Civil war.”

“Abby, having an imaginary friend was fine when you were four or five. We understood it back then; you were shy, and it was hard for you to make friends, so it was only natural that you would create your own best friend. But you’re seventeen now, you’re about to graduate from high school, and it’s time that you gave up this little fantasy. It’s not healthy, Abby.”

I stared at him for a moment, and then I just started laughing. They didn’t know James, so it was understandable that they thought he was still imaginary. I looked over Dad’s face and saw that he was completely serious, and he actually looked very worried. I swallowed the rest of my giggles and went to sit right next to him. I took his hand, and thought about how best to explain the situation with James.

“Dad, James may have been imaginary at one point, but he’s different now—he’s real now.”

“Honey, I know he might feel real—”

“He doesn’t feel real, he is real. He’s a real person who eats, sleeps, and breathes, just like every other person you’ve met. He has a pulse, I swear! I felt it once—remember that really hot day a couple of weeks ago? James passed out because he hadn’t had a drink of water all morning. It totally freaked me out, and I had to check his pulse to make sure he was alive. One time, he stepped on a broken Coke bottle, and a shard of glass went straight through his flip-flop. There was blood everywhere, and I tried to pull the glass out of his foot, but it was just too gross. No one was here at the house, so we had to walk down to the gas station to get some help. Well, I walked and James hopped. I still have the glass—with the blood stains and everything—if you still don’t believe me.”

Fantastic Reality

A couple of weeks ago, in my post "Spring," I lamented the fact that I didn't know how to post some of my awesome stories that I've written because they were just too long. Maddie made the comment that I should post them in sections, and I think that's a great idea. I'm going to start off with some of the stories I've written for my English classes.

This story is actually just a scene, not a full story. The assignment was to write a realistic scene that contained some fantastical element. I don't want to ruin the story, so I'm afraid that's all the background info that you get today. Enjoy!

My hand was on the doorknob when my dad came out of the kitchen, calling my name. I sighed and turned around to face him, but I left my fingers on the doorknob, just to show him that I had no real intention of staying for very long. He stood in the hallway with his shoulders hunched and his hands shoved in his pockets, and his uncomfortable stance made me shift in anticipation. Mom was breathing down his neck about something, that was for sure, and it was clear that that something had to do with me. I thought back over my recent grades, but the only thing I could think of was the B- that I had received on my last History test. I smiled and lifted my books encouragingly.

“Listen, Dad, I was just about to go study for History. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Can this wait until then? I have a major test coming up.”

“Are you going down to the duck pond?”

“Well, yeah. James said he would help me.” When Dad wouldn’t look me in the eye, I knew it was really serious. Then Mom appeared in the kitchen doorway. She just stood there, leaning against the doorjamb, with her arms folded and staring at my dad. Dad and I looked over at her, and we both gave a little gulp. She nodded slowly to my dad, and he turned back to me.

“Your mother and I would like to talk with you in the kitchen.” I opened my mouth to protest, but my mother cut me off with a glance.

“Abigail, we need to speak to you in the kitchen. Now,” she snapped. She didn’t even wait to hear my response; she just turned on her shiny black heels and clicked her way back into the kitchen. Dad shrugged and slumped in after my mother. After a moment alone in the hallway, I finally gave up and went to join them. I considered slamming my books, or tossing my chair around, but soon gave up on the idea. Mom was ice cold today, and if I acted out it would only prolong the agony before I could get down to James and the duck pond. I just sat down and addressed Dad.

“So, what do we need to talk about? If this is about my History grades, I just want you to know that I’m working on it, and I promise that I’ll have an A by the end of the year.”

“This isn’t about your grades, sweetie. We actually wanted to discuss the duck pond and your friend James. We think…we think it’s time you stopped going down there.” He said this last in a rush, and he looked down at his fingers. I sat back, not really understanding what he was hinting at.

100th Post!

It's my 100th post on this blog! That's very exciting. And what better way to celebrate my 100th post than to post a literary wonder (I am an English major, after all; this is what I do for fun)?

This is a parody of Robert Herrick's poem "To Virgins, to Make Much of Time." It's the one that starts "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may..." Herrick was a Cavalier poet, and the Cavalier poets were all about seizing the day, taking advantage of your youth, having the time of your life, blah blah blah. It was typical for these poems to be directed to women. For an English assignment, we have to imitate some form of literature that we have been studying. In my imitation of Herrick's poem, the perspective is that of a woman speaking to a man.

To Bachelors, To Make Much of Time

Frequent yon health clubs while ye may
Old Time will soon come calling:
The strongest man who lifts today,
Ere long will be a-sprawling.

The stunning king of forests, the stag,
Whose horns have much dissuaded
Those cruel beasts, vixen and nag,
He’ll be left, fattened and faded.

And oh! That time when hair grows free,
Thou art glorious to behold.
But soon your heightened brow—you’ll see—
Will stand out brilliant and bold.

So do not stall, but use your time,
And give a maid a crystal:
For having lost but once your prime

You will remain a-single.

Wise Words

Albus Dumbledore: Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it.

--From the movie "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2," based on the book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling.

Harry Potter

Harry Potter is one of the best series. The movies are incredible and the books are AMAZING! I have seen every movie and read every book; I have loved every character as if they were my own best friends. I have literally grown up with the actors of the movies. And now it's over.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 was simply the best movie of the entire series. They stayed true to the book, and the cinematography was truly magnificent. It was just...amazing. Just go see it.

Knowledgebase Articles

BYU Independent Study is creating a Knowledgebase--which is basically a fancy way to say that we are pooling all of the knowledge of every worker at Independent Study and putting it all in one place. It's kind of like Wikipedia for BYU Independent Study. In order to make this knowledgebase work, we have a special team (of which I am a part) to write tons and tons of articles, addressing every single issue that any student anywhere may need help with. Ever. It's kind of mind-blowing to think of how many articles we will be writing in the next two months.

We've only been writing articles since last Friday, and already I want to shoot myself. Writing articles is not as fun as you would think it is. It is one of the most boring tasks that you could have at Independent Study, I'm just sure of it. I would rather be talking to an angry mother who's trying to get her son graduated by Friday, but the son has to submit his portfolio assignment, request the final two-way express, and by the way the only proctor in their area is not available to administer the test. That should tell you just how much I hate writing these articles.

I'm going to give you a little example of what goes through my mind as I sit down to write a Knowledgebase article.

"Ok, I'm at work, I'm kind of awake, and my computer has finally loaded all of my programs, so what should I do? How many calls are there? Oh, none. Well, I guess I'll get started on the articles...but maybe I've got some important email from my professors. I'll go check Yahoo first."

I go and check Yahoo, and delete the four Spam emails that have found their way into my inbox.

"Well, no pressing matters from school. Maybe there's something good in my Gmail account."

There's nothing in my Gmail account.

"I can't go to Facebook to 'check on my English class group', so I guess I can start working on the articles." (P.S. My English Lit class really does have a Facebook page that why have to contribute 500 words to per week)

I open the program where our Knowledgebase will live, I open the Google Doc that tells me what articles need to be written, and I open the Excel spreadsheet that has all the information for the article (there's a lot of windows open on my computer by this point).

Then I just sit for a while.

Deep breath. "I am going to write an article now. Come on, Ashley, claim one of the articles in the Google Doc." I claim an article. "Good girl, now open a new article page and get it over with."

Eventually, I write three articles. Then I go to get a drink of water. When I come back to my chair, I just look at my screen. If I wait long enough, my phone starts to ring.

"A call! Woohoo!" I close all the article-related windows and take the phone call. It only lasts three minutes.

"Ah, dang it. Now I have to write more articles. How long to I have to keep writing these articles?" I look at my clock and it's only 8:30. I work until 12.

"Well, that's no bueno. Let's get to it, I guess." I write one more article.

"I can't do this any more. Please don't make me write any more articles." I look at how many articles I've claimed. I've claimed four, and my teammate has written six.

"Ok, I'm going to write two more articles, and then I'll be good. That's as much as my teammate has written, so that'll be good, right?"

I write one article.

"I can't take it any more! Do I really want to be on Special Projects? I can tell my boss I don't want to be on the team any more. But this is great for a resume. But how many articles do I have to write? They aren't paying well enough to do this. But they are paying me."

I write one more article, and the cycle continues.

Ok, so that's a little exaggerated. But not by much.

On Saturday, I went to get my hair trimmed. It was going to be just a routine trim--well, probably more than routine because it has been a LONG time since I've had my hair trimmed (I'm embarrassed to admit how long it's been, in fact). I'm a poor student so of course I went to the hair school down the road. Anyway, the haircut did not go as planned.

I chopped off six inches. SIX. It's cute and everything, but it's very short. Much shorter than anticipated. It's almost-up-to-my-chin short.

I don't know if you can tell, but I'm having a weird complex about my new haircut. I like it, but at the same time, I really don't. Maybe I'll put up pictures. Maybe.

BBQ

My dad has been smoking meat for two days now.

It smells like summer at my house. It's one of the best smells in the entire world.

Spring

I just completed one of the best and worst terms of my university career. Half my time was incredibly awesome. The other half was incredibly bad. Let me start with the bad (that way we can end on a cheerful note).

My Spanish 339 (Intro to Spanish Lit) class was THE WORST class I have attended since I started going to BYU. I have never hated a class or a professor more in my entire life. And I swear I am not exaggerating. The professor was so condescending and unhelpful. I honestly dreaded going to class. The literature was ok, but I didn't understand anything I read. I would start reading a story or an essay, and I would be lost before I had finished the first paragraph. The only redeeming factor about this course was the poetry unit.

Thankfully, I had my English 318R (Writing Fiction) class to keep me sane. I have always loved my English classes, and this class served as a way to release all my frustrations with the previous class. I wrote some great stories. They were serious, they were sad, but they were great. I wish I could put some of them up here, but they ranged from 8 to 15 pages long. Maybe I can figure out how to put a link to a Google Doc on here...Anyways, I went to see my instructor for an end-of-the-year interview, and he told me that I could be a professional writer! It made me feel so good about my writing.

So, it turned out to be a bear of a term, but there were some good moments. Maybe the summer term will be better?

Pablo Neruda

I hate the Spanish class that I'm in right now. The professor is condescending and makes me feel stupid. I get lost every time I try to read something, which also makes me feel stupid. Overall, I just feel stupid in that class, which is especially rough since I go to this class for two hours, three days a week. But sometimes we get to read/discuss something in class that reminds me why I love Spanish and literature, especially poetry. Last week, it was Pablo Neruda's poem "Me gustas cuando callas." Translation: "I Like It When You're Quiet."

Now, you have to understand that Pablo Neruda is one of my all-time favorite poets. He's right up there with Wordsworth and Keats. I will just eat his poetry up. My favorite is "Ode to a Tomato," but this one is running a close second. A really close second. For those of you who know me well will know that my heart melts as soon as I get the slightest whiff of romance. This poem just reeks of the heart-stopping, breath-taking, I'll-love-you-until-time-stops kind of romance. Well, that's what it felt like when I first read it. Anyways, I'll give the Spanish version (courtesy of http://www.neruda.uchile.cl) and then I'll translate it for those of you who don't speak Spanish. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Me gustas cuando callas

Me gustas cuando callas porque estás como ausente,

y me oyes desde lejos, y mi voz no te toca.

Parece que los ojos se te hubieran volado

y parece que un beso te cerrara la boca.

Como todas las cosas están llenas de mi alma
emerges de las cosas, llena del alma mía.
Mariposa de sueño, te pareces a mi alma,
y te pareces a la palabra melancolía.

Me gustas cuando callas y estás como distante.
Y estás como quejándote, mariposa en arrullo.
Y me oyes desde lejos, y mi voz no te alcanza:
déjame que me calle con el silencio tuyo.

Déjame que te hable también con tu silencio
claro como una lámpara, simple como un anillo.
Eres como la noche, callada y constelada.
Tu silencio es de estrella, tan lejano y sencillo.

Me gustas cuando callas porque estás como ausente.
Distante y dolorosa como si hubieras muerto.
Una palabra entonces, una sonrisa bastan.
Y estoy alegre, alegre de que no sea cierto.

I Like It When You're Quiet

I like it when you're quiet because it's like you're gone,

And you hear me from far away, even though me voice doesn't touch you.

It appears that your eyes have flown from you,

And it appears that a kiss has left you breathless.

As all the things that fill my soul

Emerge as just things, my soul is still filled.

Butterfly of my dream, you appear to my soul,

And you appear as the word Melancholy.

I like it when you're quiet, and it's like you are distant.

And it's like you're complaining, like a butterfly's lullaby.

And you hear me from far away, even though my voice doesn't touch you:

Leave me in your loving silence.

Leave me where you speak in your silence

As clear as a lamp, as simple as a ring.

You are like the night, silent and full of stars.

Your silence is a star, so far and simple.

I like it when you're quiet because it's like you're gone.

Distant and painful, as if you were dead.

One word, one half-smile,

And I am glad, glad that this isn't true.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is one of the best days of the year. There are maybe five best days of the year, in my opinion: Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, my birthday, and the neighborhood BBQ, in no particular order. They're all one of the best for a different reason--sure they all celebrate something (you may be wondering what the neighborhood BBQ celebrates, but I've always equated the neighborhood BBQ with the true beginning of summer), but each of these days are individual, unlike any other day that we celebrate. Anyways, sorry about the rambling but I was saying that Mother's Day is one of the best days because it is one day where we get to reflect on all the awesome things that our moms do for us.

My mom does a lot. She does a lot, not just for me or the other members of the family, but for EVERYBODY. I've never see someone so ready to jump up and help a person when they are struggling. Mom's always ready to help out with food, help with decorating a place, help clean up after a function. She's always ready to talk to you anyone who needs an ear, and she's always ready with amazing advice. She's Wonder Woman, but without the weird outfit or lasso. Plus, she makes the best smoothies and sandwiches.

Mom, I love you. You are the most amazing person on the planet, and I don't know what I would do without you. Happy Mother's Day!

Winter Semester

It's finished! The dreaded, stupid Winter Semester is finished! I'm so happy.

Deep breath.

Spring term starts in three days.

Books

I am slightly addicted to reading. Ok, scratch that--I am VERY addicted to reading. I love it; I eat, sleep, and breathe books. I mean, that's why I'm an English Major. Once in a while, I'll have a dream that is eerily similar to one of the books I've been reading. And that is where my addiction becomes scary. Because where other people have escapes like Second Life, I have books. While I am a firm believer that books are amazing--and I'm sure that I will encourage my children to become junkies like unto myself--there are moments when I worry that I've gotten in too deep. Because of books, my reality is full of expectations that will never be met: I once sat down on the sidewalk while it was snowing because I thought it would be the perfect moment for my true love to come along and sweep me off my feet. Yeah.

So I decided to stop, cold turkey. Well, I mean, I wasn't going to stop reading (that would severely damage my grades for ALL of my classes), but I was going to stop buying books. I had too many good books on my bookshelves that I needed to read. But this week I broke down; I fell off the wagon, and I bought not one, not two, but three new books. Three! I just couldn't resist. This past week I've just felt like I was drowning--I had to get out of the classroom, get out of Provo, and get out of Utah. But I'm poor, and I can't leave right now. So, as the panic was beginning to choke me, I did the only thing I could do: I bought three books. This literature junkie is very happy right now.

Because there is nothing quite like the look, the feel, the smell of a fat, new book.

The Past

Nostalgia is good. We remember good and bad time in our lives for a reason--those moments changed the course of our lives. Sometimes, I re-read some of my old poems and my old stories, and I laugh, but then I think "Hey, there is some glint in these; I can write something worth while." Here's something I wrote right before my senior year of high school began, and it made me think that we should just stop for a second and write down the first memories that come to our head. We could learn something from ourselves.



It's Sunday, August 3 (Kiera's birthday...big shout out to her), and I'm sitting in Church thinking how Tuesday is the beginning of the end of an era. Because Tuesday, August 5, is the first day of school for those of us who still attened AES, and for me, it's the first day of Senior year.

Over the summer, I've been thinking a lot about Senior year--worrying about Senior year, actually. It's a big thing to worry about. You've got college applications to deal with the first half of the year, and then the second half of the year you have to worry about final exams, which, for me, include the dreaded IB exams. Plus, I have almost all the same super hard classes as I did last year. Needless to say, I was anticipating that this weekend I would be feeling nervous, scared, or maybe even excited that I was finally going to be done with High School and with India. So it surprised me when I discovered that I was a little sad that this year would be my last, not only in High School, but in India too.

When we first moved here, everybody in my old neighborhood told me that I would have amazing experiences. And truth be told, I didn't believe them. But after living here almost two years, I'm kind of starting to believe them. I didn't have any life-changing experiences. I take that back. My life was changed by living here. Just not in the way you'd expect. There are moments from these two years that will probably be ingrained in my mind forever. For example:

I remember the day I left Utah...and the airplane ride to Delhi...and seeing the lights of Delhi for the first time...and my first day in the city when I almost passed out from the combination of masses of people, the smells, and the sights; people pointed at my dad and called him a giant.

I remember the feeling I had my first day at AES.

I remember house hunting with my dad.

I remember getting horribly sick the day of Minicourse. And the consequent train ride on which I threw up at least every hour.

I remember talking to Hannah about anything and everything during free periods.

I remember my first-ever Dead Week (there's a reason they call it that).

I remember the night I flew home for Christmas...and meeting my mom at the airport.

I remember waiting in the halls of Bingham for all my old friends and feeling so out of place it physically hurt me.

I remember the night before I had to go back to Delhi, and Hannah came over to celebrate my Sweet Sixteenth.

I remember my Sweet Sixteenth.

I remember sitting in a bungalow in Nepal, just thinking.

I remember the last day of school and feeling intensly relieved.

I remember the first day I met Maddie, and she gave me one word answers.

I remember the first day I met Miranda, and she wouldn't stop talking.

I remember the first night Maddie, Miranda, and I stayed up until two in the morning.

I remember Youth Conference where we were DJs because we were afraid the boys would ask us to dance (they did anyways).

I remember the first musical I had a major role in.

I remember going out almost every weekend.

I remember flying home for my sister's wedding.

I remember Moti Mahal and Tropicana nights with Maddie.

I remember working out in the weight room at school with Miranda.

I remember going to Shimla with the Stokers.

I remember going to the orphanage and wanting to hold and love every child there.

I remember the night Maddie and Miranda graduated, even though I couldn't be there.

I remember planning next summer with Hannah.

I remember a lot of things. And that's why my life has changed because of India. Because I've made so many memories in so short amount of time with some of the most amazing people I will ever meet. Because it's the little things that count.
I've learned some amazing lessons from those people, and others. Don't worry, I won't list all the lessons I've learned. I guess what I'm trying to say, after all of that, is that while I've hated living here some days, living in India was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me, and I'm really grateful to my parents for giving me the choice to come to Delhi.

So let the beginning of the end...well...begin!

Universe

Sometimes, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, or I can't let go of the past, or I feel like I can't do it, I just want to yell at the universe--in a refined, well-worded letter, of course. After all, I am an English major; that's how I roll. Anyway, this is probably what I would write:

Dear Universe,

I have a bone to pick with you. It's not ok for you to continually throw obstacles at me. Every once in a while I need a break, ok? Can't you just once let me have a path that is totally clear? It doesn't matter if it's a straight, 100 yard sprint, or if it's a longer road with tons of curves--I'm good with either option. Just no avalanches or flash floods. And can we please just forget about the What If factor? I hate that. Let's just let the past stay in the past, bygones be bygones, or whatever cliche you want to use here. Listen, we could be great friends. You just have to show your nice side.

Love, Ashley

It's that time again

Yesterday at work I got really bored. No one was calling in for help, and we don't have any projects to do, so I was just basically sitting there, spinning around in my comfy desk chair. I could have been doing homework, or studying for one of the two midterms that I have this week, but no. Sometimes you just have to sit and spin in your comfy desk chair, you know?

And then I went to cheapflights.com. Now I'm planning trips to Madrid, Verona, Greece, and London (for the Olympics). I love traveling. It's always so worth it, even if I'm poor when I come home.

The Busy-ness of Life

This week I have:

1. Watched three movies (which is weird because usually I don't have time to watch movies)
   
2. Read a chapter of a book of my choice (one chapter; that's it!)
   
3. Finished Persuasion and The Companion to Chaucer, both of which are textbooks for my two English classes
4. Written part of a research paper
5. Driven to Provo twice (which means I had to buy more gas than usual which sucks because gas prices are so high)
   
6. Taken four tests
7. Eaten at Chick-fil-A (which is awesome!)
8. Not gotten to bed before 11.

Most of my weeks are like this. And this is why I haven't been able to post on my blog recently.

Such is the business of life.

Sick

I can't talk. My throat feels like it's made of sandpaper. Every so often I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I hate being sick.

Veinte

A couple of Fridays ago, my dad told me that I would be starting my third decade of life pretty soon. That kind of freaked me out. For some reason saying that I'm 20 is not as stressful than saying that I have two decades under my belt, and I'm starting a third one. Even though they mean the same thing.

This year's birthday was fantastic. I love it when my birthday is on a Monday because that's when Martin Luther King Day is, which means there's a holiday on my birthday. So, on Sunday we had our family get together. Dad made the most gorgeous meal: a five course, Italian-inspired feast, which was absolutely incredible, plus the most magnificent home-made cake and ice cream you could imagine. It was just as good as Costco's All-American Chocolate Cake. Look at that cake; isn't it beautiful?
On my actual birthday, my friend Maddie and I went to Denny's for breakfast (laugh if you will, but I always associate Denny's with happy times. And I like their food). Then we went and picked Kiera up from the house, and we all wen to see Tangled. I have been wanting to see that movie since it came out, and it was so worth it! I loved it, and if you haven't seen it, you need to.

So, being 20 will be awesome, I just know it. Ok...so I don't really know it because I don't know what's going to happen, which is just the way I like it. I just have a feeling that it's going to be awesome. Thanks for all the birthday wishes, everyone! Wish me luck on this new decade.

New Poem (or Poem-like Thing)!

Dreams

I had a dream last night.

It was a one of those dreams that I couldn’t wait to tell someone about,
But when I went to the kitchen, and saw you sitting at the counter eating your breakfast,
Something changed.
My halo of excitement, which crackled and tingled and gave off its own surreal heat,
Was gone.
Everything was clean and cold.

People always say to follow your dreams.

They say that anything is possible if you just believe,
But they don’t really mean it.
Sure, they want you to think big
And believe that you can be more than a bag-boy at the local Piggly Wiggly.
Real Dreams, of magical powers, princesses and dragons, and millions of dollars, are different,
But they get pushed aside
In favor of a more “realistic” dream—becoming an astronaut, a politician, a businessman.
Is there a child who actually goes to bed and has visions of becoming successful in business?
If there is, I will gladly shake their hand.
But until I can shake the hand of that miraculous child,
I am convinced that children are no more than geese being fattened
For a world that has been meticulously planned and crafted for them.
The dreams that people say we should follow
Are dreams that have been previously prescribed,
Like thick, dry pills that get stuck in the back of a throat.

I had a Dream last night,

But I forgot about it while I ate my Grape Nuts.

So Busy!

Well, I missed both my awesome Christmas and New Year's posts. I know, I'm such a slacker. Things have been pretty crazy though. I was busy playing down in Florida with my awesome family. Then we got home just in time to order all of my textbooks (which have still not arrived...I'm not very happy about that...), start working again, and start classes.

Anyway, I'm here to apologize because I won't be posting anything substantial until this weekend. This includes pictures of our fabulous trip to Orlando, Christmas wishes, and New Year's greetings. I'll be back soon though!